Responses to draft one.

I've had the surveys done for a while, I've just been so engrossed in editing to actually write it all down on here. I'd take a picture of all the questionnaires like I did before, but only a few of them are on paper; the rest are via Facebook message or Tumblr message etc etc.

1) What did you feel was the best aspect (camerwork, tone, music etc.) and why?

• The beginning, as I feel it was a good scene setter.
• The walk up to the door was very atmospheric.
• The low lighting and shaky camera work add drama and tension.
• Interplay between murder and chanting because it adds tension.
• The murder scene because it was dramatic.
• The climax of the murder scene because it was exciting.
• The set up of the Satanic scene with candles and the pentagram.
• The rapid change between murder/ritual scene because it looked good.
• The opening shot because it set the scene.

2) What did you feel was not the best aspect and why?

• The transitions were too sudden, maybe a slight fade might work better.
• Discussion in the bedroom was a little disjointed.
• The ending because it seemed rushed.
• The conversation seemed forced.
• The conversation in the bedroom was awkward.
• The dialogue was slightly wooden and confusing (although the confusion could be a good thing, could add suspense) 
• The chanting wasn't very spooky.
• The dialogue in the bedroom was completely different to the first bit.
• The credits seemed random and just popped up.

3) Are there any parts you feel work particularly well? Why?

• The walk up to the door works particularly well because it adds the tension.
• The music works well with the walk up to the door because they create atmosphere.
• The murder scene because it was very dramatic.
• The chanting because it adds to the spooky feel.
• The chanting because you don't know what she's saying so it adds tension.
• Flicking between murder and murderer was tense and the music added suspense.
• The credits and the shaky camera work add to the effect of horror.
• The way the music changed pace with the action because it fitted well.
• The cutting between the murder and ritual scene because it was fast.

4) If we were to make any specific changes for the second draft, what would you want them to be? Why? 

• The discussion because it's too flat.
• The transitions because they're a bit shaky.
• More character development in the conversation.
• More rapid transitions.
• Change the discussion because it's awkward.
• The end dialogue could be adjusted to make the viewer feel more involved in the storyline.
• Make the chanting more creepy.
• Change the discussion to something less different. 
• Change the dialogue to something more realistic or believable.

5) Do you feel our first draft is in keeping with the conventions of horror? Why?

• Yes: the music, the camera work in the titles and the Satanic theme.
• Yes: the walk up to the door.
• Yes: the opening scenes and the music was effective and spooky.
• Yes: the murder keeps in with horror.
• Yes: the change from horror scene to normal scene is used in horror films.
• Yes: the beginning as the camera slowly zoomed in on the door, and the fridge door being open made me wonder if something would be lurking behind it.
• Yes: it had the ritual and the darkness and the shakiness.
• Yes: the whole idea of it is a horror idea.
• Yes: the chanting and ritual scene makes it very horror-like.

From this, we can tell that the discussion between Hannah and Jess in the bedroom was not very well received. This is because people thought that it was wooden, and was not very clear. The three of us made the mistake of being too close to something, and not stepping back and looking at it objectively. Obviously, we understood what was going on because we created it, but to other people who haven't been involved in the process of making it didn't understand, so we now know not only to change it, but to remember to watch it objectively to see whether it makes sense or not. We can also tell that people liked the ritual/death scene, and the establishing shot of the door. They thought that the door shot was a good scene setter and that the ritual scene was very atmospheric, which is good, because that's what we were going for. 

This was very helpful in the development of Esther, because we then knew what to change and what to keep. It also helped us to realise we needed a second half in keeping with the tone of the first half. Taking this on board, we decided to change the conversation into something more dramatic and memorable, because it just sort of fizzled out with the coversation, whereas something more dramatic would mean that the audience will be entertained for the whole of our piece.


(Here are some screenshots of the feedback:)